The Field

for Eurydice Dixon

I am the girl led out into the field / The woman in the blue

business suit holding a paper coffee cup / waiting

to cross / Hit by a car and thrown in the boot / The woman forced

to dig her own grave / I lose my eyes to acid / I call 999

and say There’s an intruder inside the house /They tell me

Find something heavy… A golf club? Can you go to a neighbour’s

house? /They give out blunt knives / Advise a stab vest

beneath my clothes / I am in the bathroom when he decides /

When he puts on his trainers for extra leverage / In the dark,

I do not see that he has removed the passenger seat / I smell the chloroform

too late / I hear a careful step before I feel the blow /

I marvel at my wet, bloody hand as I move it along

the back of my head and bring it to my face / The moon shines

on his throat / The moon shines on the field /

I am walking with my sisters when the group of men appear /

I am the woman in the stadium / I feel the first stone /

It is the first time I am allowed to walk to the bus stop

alone / He says Women unconsciously long for a man to take

control /My body is found in the river / My body is found in the

alley / They think it is a bundle of rags at first / My face slowly

uncovered / The soil brushed away / My drowned hand

where the skin sloughs off like a glove / My skull waiting for him

to return / I am the girl in the dumping ground / The 1 in 4; 3 in 5;

1 in 10 / I am 18, 22, 46, 78, 14 / A mannequin this night / So still

in the moonlight / So quiet, then realising they are gone

something forces me to run / He puts a mirror underneath so he can watch

himself / He says I know what you are /The moon pools in his throat /

And all the time I am digging I am thinking I’m glad it is me

not her / I am cleaning the window outside the shop / Herding

goats when the men come / Hanging out the washing on the

line / Walking along the river with the dog /

I am the woman silent through it all / The girl

who screams / The woman who fights / I am the girl who travels

somewhere else / The out-of-body girl / The woman who dies

and floats to the branches of a tree / The girl who watches

while the paramedics try to bring her back to this world of mud /

And it is so cold here (in the field) / And it is so cold here

(in the tree) / So pure and cold and brittle with the breath of angels.         

Wes Lee